I honestly dont know what the title of this post really means, it just kinda sounds deep and pretty cool. But yea, i havent written on this bitch for a minute. Been occupied with others things. But i thought about something today. Lets see, last night i got completely shitfaced and threw up. Oh man i dont remember the last time i did that. Oh yea i do. Back in jersey. But anyway. Ev came out to chill. And i remember looking at her when i saw four guys trying to hit on her. It was kinda funny. But i was just making sure none of them tried anything stupid.
anyways, when i was driving back form her place around 11 (she drove my car to her place and i crashed there)... I was like, "damn it was cool chilling with her again." and i thought about everyone i used to chill with, who i chill with now and what they mean to me. So i mean, i dont know how it came up but i started thinking about how much money i spent on people i care about. And i realized that i had spent more money on ev then anyone else i know. And it all came back to me, all the times we ate out (which was alot), the gas to pick her up drop her off, that red jacket, everything. I was like damn. And im not saying this to make her feel bad. I actually find this very amusing. And i thought to myself, why? and it came to me. Like... I really care about this girl. She means alot to me. And i thought about everyone else. I realized ev was on a level that few people got on. Its just like with denise and joelle. Those 3. I love those girls to death and would do anything for them. Then i thought about adrienne. Yea i had a thing for her in high school but now its more than that. I think its the past few months, i thought about everything weve been through since freshman year, shes up there too.
then theres steph. No language or culture have any words to begin to describe steph. That girl is my heart. You hear that baby? you are my heart. Everything ive been through since day one you were there. And now here we are... A good 7 years since we first met. Dont you ever trip, cuz ill always be here. And if you do trip, ill catch you.
then of course i thought about her neighbor. Dru. Its dru. I dont have the time to write about dru. If youve known me for more then 30 minutes youve heard about dru. Ill just leave it at that.
and dont think i forgot about brother darkness. Yea, we dont chill or hang as much, and im sorry for that, but... Id still do anything for him. Heapos;ll always have a place in my heart.
then theres also dett. No i havent forgotten about you even though sometimes i feel you have of me. But through eveything weve been through id be lying if i didnt say you didnt mean alot to me. Yea we havent talked in a LONG time. The last time i saw you was stephs birthday. Or was it that little get together at your place? i dont remember if that was a week before or after stephs. But yea. Last time i saw you was july. Its been a month since we last talked. And we just texted each that time too. But that doesnt matter to me. I know i still care about you even though weve drifted away.
oh oh oh....theres also nick and scotty. These guys are my brothers. Theres also brian, bert, joey, david, dave, lolo, aaron. I know you guys are still in north carolina (cept for brian, i got more hatorade) and i love you guys. Whenever yall need anything, youapos;ll always have a brother here in los angeles. Semper fi...
then now theres new people in my life that im starting to get close to. Im digging it. But i feel like my plate might be too full. Right now i know its gonna be hard for other people to get close to me due to my current state of mind. But im trying to better it, and working at starbucks helps. So just be patient.
anyways...i honestly wanted to write more but im too lazy to. And its 345 in the AM son. Im out...
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